Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Rejection X 20 = depression

My novel codenamed LP has been rejected twenty times by agents now. My novel codenamed BtC has been rejected once by an agent. I've lost count of the number of times my short stories have been rejected. So depression has set in.

I've been writing seriously for five years now, and what do I have to show for it? One short story published, in an online literary journal. I have written six novels, of which four are "starter" novels that will never be seen by an agent or editor. Two of the novels I am proud of, BtC and LP. I am told this is a very bad time to try to get an agent's attention, so maybe I could take some consolation from that, but twenty rejections for LP is tough to take.

What do I do now? Where do I go from here? I entered LP in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award, but I don't have much hope for it - the initial judging is based only on a pitch. I have ideas for four more novels that I have worked on a little. I suppose I will continue to be optimistic and plug away at another novel, probably the one codenamed LL. At this point I have gotten used to writing and creating - I miss it when I am depressed and not writing.

The prospect of never being published is frightening and sobering. It is a very real possibility. Book sales were declining, even before the current financial downturn. And perhaps I am just not good enough. Maybe I will never attract the attention of one of the gatekeepers (the agents) no matter how well I write. It takes a great deal of determination to keep plugging away at it in the face of so much rejection.

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